How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
sexta-feira, 29 de junho de 2007
quarta-feira, 27 de junho de 2007
Frases de Grafitis
Estaremos sempre ao lado do governo...
porque se formos à frente
dá-nos pontapés no cu
e se formos atrás caga em nós.
porque se formos à frente
dá-nos pontapés no cu
e se formos atrás caga em nós.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Em Portugal temos os melhores gestores e administradores...
que o dinheiro pode comprar.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
O país estava à beira do abismo, agora deu um passo em frente.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A dívida que Portugal tem
não é externa,
é eterna.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
As inundações não se produzem porque os rios transbordam,
mas porque país se afunda.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
É proibido roubar,
o governo não admite concorrência.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
As putas ao poder,
porque com os filhos não chegámos a lado nenhum.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Este governo é como um bikini,
ninguém sabe como se aguenta,
mas todos querem que caia.
sexta-feira, 22 de junho de 2007
quarta-feira, 20 de junho de 2007
The husband store
Too bad a store like this doesn't really exist.
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New
York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the
store operates. You may
visit the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights There is, however, a catch . . . you may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband
Store to find a husband . .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 -These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!"she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, lovekids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that
women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you
exit the building, and have a nice day!
Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who
can handle the truth!
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